Couples Counselling

This sentiment echoes through many relationships, often serving as the tipping point for seeking couples therapy. Our partner's minds start to feel somewhat of a mystery, there's constant misunderstanding, and we don't feel heard  - like you're speaking different languages, right? We start to think "if we could just communicate better, there wouldn't be an issue".

The truth is, communication skills don't make a difference in a distressed relationship. When we are feeling unloved, uncared for, and disconnected, we rarely have access to those skills - no matter how great we are at communicating in other areas of our lives. 

The solution? We need to get deeper. Instead of just focusing on communication and conflict resolution, we focus on the underlying emotional needs, the ability to connect vulnerably and safely, the fear that you and your partner trigger in one another, and the cycles we get stuck in to protect ourselves from that fear.

There's no specific duration of time that couples need to be together before seeking couples counselling. Couples counselling can be beneficial for partners at any stage of their relationship, whether they've been together for a few months or several years.

Ultimately, the decision to attend couples counselling depends on the willingness of both partners to actively engage in the process and work towards improving their relationship. If you feel that counselling could benefit your relationship, regardless of how long you've been together, it may be worth exploring with your partner.

If you're reading this, chances are you love your partner but are exhausted and overwhelmed with the way things have been going lately. The way we see it, your relationship isn't failing - you're stuck in a pattern of activating each others fears and ways of protecting from vulnerability. This usually looks a lot like anxiety, placing demands, threatening to leave, starting fights, silent treatment, mentally checking out, or withdrawing (among other things). Everworth's clinicians are skilled at helping you to recognize the underlying needs and worries playing out, and to really truly see each other once more. If the love is still there underneath it all (and we're guessing that it is), we will help you to hear it loud and clear again.

We use a combination of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), and The Gottman Method to tailor our approach to exactly what your dynamic is needing right now. We're welcoming to couples of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relationship styles. We're here to help reignite the foundation of love and safety at the heart of your relationship.

• You'll have a space to share how your relationship has been going and how it's been impacting you
• We'll explore your attachment history, including what things were like growing up with your caregivers and in past relationships
• You'll learn more about the biology of attachment and your own attachment style
• We'll make sense of how your history has informed how you show up in relationships now, including the ways your brain/body has learned to keep you safe
• We'll help uncover the needs you have in your relationship, explore how each of your behaviour drives disconnection, and map out the cycles you're stuck in
• You'll learn how to create a safe base for one another, to attune to each others underlying emotions and fears, and help each other out of the negative cycle
• You'll both develop skills to be accessible, responsive, and engaged with the other 

Click here to learn more about how Everworth can help with attachment issues.